Sunday, August 21, 2011

Waking Up with Cancer

Yesterday, I woke up, I woke up knowing. I have cancer.

I spent time yesterday telling family, sorority sisters, friends and loved ones of my test results. Event though I felt the blanket of the their prayers, it was still a different feeling. Today I know for certain. My family knows. My children know. The outpouring of their love and support has been overwhelming. To know that my life is blanketed with prayers is very humbling, but it doesn't stop the questions.

Has it spread? What will my treatment be? How will this affect my family? Insurance hoops? My wonderful school family and students? Why did I not get AFLAC when I moved? Finances? Prior obligations? Are my daughters at risk? Can my husband fix Arleigh's hair when I can't move my arms? When will I have the answers?

As I have tearfully read texts, emails, and Facebook messages from loved ones today, I realize that even though I am trying for "normal", my life will soon be abnormal, and it is beyond my control!

A dear friend sent me this verse in a message today, and it was just what I needed...
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6

As I wake up tomorrow with cancer, I don't have all of the answers, but I know someone who does!



Jenny said...

So glad that you are doing this blog. I thought of you all day yesterday and had hoped you would find such a good outlet. I have added it to my favorites and will read your updates. Know that you are supported by so many and you and your family will continue to be prayed for.

Susan said...

I have done nothing but think of you this weekend. I meant what I said earlier; If you need anything and if I can help in any way, I will. I continue to pray for you that whatever you face, may God bless you and your family. We Cougars have your back!

Tara Dixon said...

You are such an inspiration to me - I can not imagine all the questions and concerns you are dealing with. I promise you this though, you and your precious family are in my prayers daily, and I will help out any way I can. I have no doubt whatsoever that you will beat this!!!!!!