It's official...I Have a Calendar!

This calendar is just for doctor visits, treatments, tests, etc...

It's official...I now have a calendar just for medical stuff!  I'm an organized person (or try to be), but the reality of having a mini-calendar just for medical related stuff is kind of hard for me to accept.  That's the point that I'm at in my life...

Friday morning, I had my appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Cheryl Jones, who practices at the Georgia Cancer Center - Macon office.  It was great to walk in and see a smiling face!  Adelia's best friend's (and my second son) mother is the receptionist there, but I noticed that everyone was treated like a "person", and not just a $ sign.  Walking into the cancer center, you knew that every person there was touched by the disease in one way or another.  I found myself wondering what their stories were... were they there due to a spouse, child, sibling, relative, friend, or were they the cancer patient?

My notebook from the Breast Health Center

Dr. Jones is highly recommended, and was very informative.  She asked me what I knew about my diagnosis...and I told her.  I've discovered that many cancer patients either know nothing of their diagnosis, know some, or are well-informed.  I realize that I am generalizing all people into a category, but that is my opinion.  I (just in case you doubted) fall into the well-informed category.  I can't imagine not knowing about the disease that is affecting your body and your family, but I know many who choose not to.  Plus, it's just part of my nature to know as much about something as possible...it's one reason why I chose my career!

Dr. Jones is a soft-spoken lady, but the wealth of knowledge behind her rimless eyeglasses is apparent.  After she reviewed all of my pathology reports, we found out additional information that wasn't apparent earlier.  ( Dr. Martin is a well-informed surgeon, with great knowledge about breast cancer, but Dr. Jones is my "cancer doctor", or oncologist.) Dr. Jones immediately saw my list of things to ask, glanced at it, and then handed it back to me.  (in the course of the appointment, she answered every single question on my list...and then some!)

Based upon my surgery and pathology reports, there are some major factors in my diagnosis that have changed. These factors will contribute to what weapons are used to fight my cancer.  The grade of my tumor, vascular & lymphatic status, lymph node involvement, staging and my HER-2 (human epidermal growth factor receptor 2) status have changed.  You can find out more about HER-2 from this website.  The core needle biopsy was just a "snapshot" of the tumor, whereas the mastectomy produced the entire "well-circumscribed 2.6 X 2.1 X 1.8 cm firm white mass". (page 4 of my 23 page pathology report)  This is why there are changes from the initial report.

My "doctor bag", which I now carry to all appointments!

The grade of my tumor is now 3. Grade 3 cells look very different from normal cells, as they grow quickly in disorganized, irregular patterns, with many dividing to make new cancer cells. (www.breastcancer.org)  As shown by the positive lymph nodes, the cancer had invaded my vascular system.  Of the 18 lymph nodes removed, only 2 showed a presence of cancerous cells.  One lymph node is considered  to have "extracapsular extensions", meaning that the cancer has spread outside the wall of the node.  My report shows the size of the largest metastatic deposit is 1 cm.  The fact that the cancer had spread to my lymph system is a "whole new ballgame". 

I asked Dr. Jones how to respond to my children when they ask, "Mom, are you cancer free now that your breast is gone?"  Her suggestion was to tell them, "the doctors removed all of the cancer that they saw, but that there could still be cancer floating around in my blood."  It's kind of a different perspective when you think of it that way, as opposed to be cancer-free when you breast is removed.  My cancer stage is IIb.  You can read about breast cancer staging here.  I am just over the IIa mark, with my tumor size.  Treatment really doesn't vary from IIa to IIb.  The suggested course of treatment for me is chemotherapy, followed by radiation.

Apparently when we thought I was HER-2 negative, the tests actually showed that additional testing needed to be completed.  Generally, you receive a score of 1-3 on this test.  1 being that you are negative for the HER-2 gene, and 3 being positive.  I received a 2.  According to Dr. Jones, both the FISH methods and IHC testing methods have come back inconclusive.  The report refers to "Because of a possible interference by chromosome 17 polysomy noted on the previous HER-2 analysis, the HER-2 analysis will be repeated by another method."  HER2-positive breast cancers tend to grow faster and are more likely to spread and come back compared to HER2-negative breast cancers. (www.breastcancer.org)  If it is found that my cancer is HER-2 positive, then it will involve a weekly infusion treatment of Herceptin, for one year.  As a friend of mine told me, that's just one more arsenal in my warehouse.  Cancer is a family diagnosis, but looking at weekly infusions for a year...that's just hard to imagine.  Hopefully the results will be back later on this week, but certainly by my next oncologist appointment.

Speaking of appointments...my calendar is filling up.  Today, Jeff and I attended a chemotherapy class at the Cancer Center. Thursday is my two-week post-op and port insertion consult with Dr. Martin.  Next week, Adelia and I are attending a "Look Good - Feel Good" class at the hospital on 9/26, which focuses on scarves, make-up, accessories, etc. after chemotherapy hair loss.  Between now and my appointment on the 30th with Dr. Jones, I have to get a chest x-ray and will have an echocardiogram on 9/27.  I'm not sure where it will fall, but somewhere between my appointment with Dr. Martin and my first chemotherapy treatment (which can't be prior to 4 weeks post-op), I will have my port insertion.  As the day has progressed, I noticed that my surgical site and under my arm seems to be swelling, possibly filling up with fluid.  (Remember my surgical drain was removed last week.)  This is completely normal, but rather than waiting until Thursday to see Dr. Martin, I now have an additional appointment with him tomorrow.

Griffen in his new "Weeblo" uniform!

In the meantime, between my "calendar appointments", I'm trying to be normal: a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.  Friday night, I enjoyed watching Adelia and the awesome JCHS Marching Greyhounds perform pre-game and during half-time.  (The JCHS football team won, too!)  I've been doing my post-surgery exercises, visited a great wig shop (that deserves its own post, though!), put patches on a new scout uniform, and have read bedtime stories.  Everyday, my stamina is improving.  I have had such a great support system of my parents, husband and children, but it's nice that I can actually help to cook, fold laundry, and do dishes!  (I think I might still be too sore to clean the bathrooms, though- how long do you think I can use that excuse? :)

TTFN,
-S

What a Difference Two Weeks Makes...

Two weeks ago, my life changed forever.  I didn't fall in love, give birth to a beautiful child, discover the cure for a disease, or save a life...I was officially diagnosed with cancer.  What a difference 2 weeks, 14 days, 336 hours or 20,160 minutes makes in your life.  You may have compassion and understanding for the diagnosis, but until you have heard the words spoken to yourself, "You have cancer", you just can't fully comprehend the magnitude of those three words.

In those two weeks, I have said, written and done things I never thought I would do in my life, and run the entire spectrum of emotions.  Telling my children that "Mommy has cancer", as well as answering all of their questions (especially the ones a nine-year old can come up with), are some of the most difficult conversations I have ever had. My husband has held me while I've cried, and I've held him when he cried.  I have had to accept the fact that I have breast cancer, and face the challenge head on. I never thought I would be snuggling up with my son, looking at a wig catalog, either...but it happened this week.  People have commented on my great attitude...but I want to ask, "What would you have me do instead?"  It may try, but cancer will not define me.

I have been overwhelmed with  love and support during the past two weeks.   Not only my family, but folks from my hometown , childhood friends, college friends, new friends, co-workers, church family, teachers, and students have reached out with their words of encouragement, offering their prayers and love.  It has been overwhelming, and often the messages have caused more tears of love, rather than tears of fear.  Without that support and love, I'm certain that my attitude and outlook would be very different!

As I'm sure with every major diagnosis, there has been a fleeting moment, where even my religion has been questioned.  I say fleeting, because how anyone can not rely on their faith when dealing with a diagnosis, such as cancer, is beyond me.  I believe and have faith in my God, and know that He has a plan for me and my diagnosis.  If the journey is not favorable, I know that I will have eternal life. So many wonderful and inspiring verses and passages have been shared with me over the past two weeks, too.  My favorite Bible verses (since childhood) are Proverbs 3: 5-6, and is what I rely on daily during my journey with cancer.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
      And lean not on your own understanding;
       ⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
      And He shall direct your paths. 

During the past two weeks, we've had a crash course in breast cancer.  (You know me, I've researched, read, highlighted and made lists about breast cancer!)  IDC, ER, PR, HER2, BRCA, Surgical Margins, and Sentinel Lymph Node are just a few of the new words in my vocabulary.  In two weeks, I've also had an MRI, another appointment with the surgeon, appointment with the Oncology Nurse Navigator, scheduled surgery, and had my pre-op appointment.

I have also noticed that face to face, people act differently around you.  First of all, they quickly glance at your chest. (Maybe I should put a big bow on the right one?)  They also tend to be one extreme or the other in their words, (though this statement doesn't apply to all...so don't get offended,☺) quickly offering their sympathy, or not knowing what to say.  Most men fall into the second category.  They acknowledge your situation with a nod or smile (which often can speak much emotion), but when it comes to words, they are at a loss.  Friends and my child's friends no longer know what to say.  Others, are often ready to share their breast cancer stories.  Although they are heartfelt and meant to be reassuring, no breast cancer cases are exactly alike.  The encouragement about so many breast cancer survivors is incredible, but it might not be the best idea to share a story about some 90 year old grandmother who has breast cancer, with a newly diagnosed 38-year old, mother of three.

Two weeks have shown me that I am a strong woman, and that with God's grace, and the love of my family and friends, I will survive.  I may question the path that I am on, but I'm here now, and must travel the road called "Breast Cancer".

Last night, the Jones County High School Marching Greyhounds wore pink ribbons on their uniforms in memory of a fellow band mom, Kelly Pittman Swafford.  Kelly courageously lost her battle with breast cancer Thursday.  It was quite emotional to see all of those students with their pink ribbons.  Please keep the Pittman-Swafford family in your prayers.

TTFN,

-S

Friday Night Support

Tonight, friends and neighbors will proudly put on their purple and gold and relish the fact that they can spend several hours sitting on hard, metal benches.  The weather will be moderately uncomfortable and bugs will flock to the football lights in swarms.  Fans (possibly obnoxious, depending on the score - or lack of), cheerleaders, football players, coaches, students, and band members will gather together as part of a hallowed, Friday night tradition.  Friday night, you know what that means...it's "Marching Band Season" across America! (and here you thought I was going to talk about football!  LOL)

The Jones County High Greyhounds have an away game at Luella High School in Locust Grove.  Parents will be making the sixty-mile drive North, just to be there.  Showing support for their children and friends that participate in the Friday night ritual.  Do they need to clean house?  Do laundry?  Prepare for the week ahead?  Catch up on sleep?  Yes, to all, but they're not.  They are going to show their support ...

When I think about how much my life has changed in the past seven days, I am truly speechless.  My reference is not to the fact that I was diagnosed with cancer, will have a double mastectomy or chemotherapy, but to the responses I have received from you.  The outpouring of encouragement, prayers and love that has been expressed to me is beyond comprehension. 

This week has been an highly emotional, as you can only imagine.  I've always been an empathetic person (you know how I cry at commercials, greeting cards, movies & books...Hallmark & Folgers commercials get me the worst!), but the posts, emails, messages, cards and phone calls I've received this week are unforgettable.  Not a day goes by that I don't cry.  My tears are not for my diagnosis or fears, but from the overwhelming words of support I have received.  I have received encouragement from students (past & present), co-workers, classmates, retired educators, my favorite "Sunday School Ladies", family, friends of friends, breast cancer survivors, and even strangers. 

On this Friday night, I feel your love and prayers.  I know that you are cheering for me, regardless of what team uniform I'm wearing, or what day of the week it is!

TTFN
-S

*Yesterday, an IBEW Electrician was killed on the job in Americus.  Please be in prayer for the family of Sean Scott for their sudden loss.