Deliveries, Doctors & Drains

As I write this post tonight, I am feeling blessed...blessed beyond measure.  (Ok, so maybe I did take a pain pill since I over-exerted myself today...but my blessings greatly exceed prescription narcotics!)  Today has been an eventful day, one full of special deliveries, appointment with the surgeon, drain tube removal, and even a Pre-K event.  It is so hard to believe that just four short weeks ago from today, I was told that there was an 80% chance my tumor was malignant.

 Four weeks later,  I have one breast, eighteen less lymph nodes and two armpits (or so it seems, from where they removed tissue and lymph nodes from under my arm!) as a result from surgery.  I know that I am supported by family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.  Over the past few weeks, you have prayed with me, cried with me, laughed with me, and rejoiced with me.  For that, I will be eternally thankful!

This morning, I received a special delivery...all the way from New Hope Baptist Church, in Jennings, Florida.  New Hope is my "home" church, over 200 miles away from Gray.  This is the church where I was baptized, and the church I was married in.  Karen Goolsby delivered two gift baskets from the wonderful "New Hope Ladies" this morning.  These are the ladies who have been there for me throughout my life...from VBS to baptism, my wedding, to the birth of all three of my children, their love and support has been as solid as the oak trees that grow in Hamilton County.  These women have shown me how to host memorable bridal showers, make the best punch in the world (can I get an "Amen" about that New Hope Punch), and have demonstrated how to be women of faith.  Now, they are specifically  praying for me and my family as I battle cancer.

The gift baskets are full of items that are very thoughtful and have such meaning to me.  Ranging from plastic flatware and tissues to relaxation candles and therapeutic pillows, the baskets were just amazing.  As I looked at each item, I wondered what sweet friend knew I would need that item.  Candy, candles, mints, journals, inspirational books, notepads, jewelry, and gift cards are just a few items included.  More importantly, I know that the baskets are full of prayers and love...which can't be purchased at any store.  To my New Hope Ladies - Thank you will never suffice.  I love you!

Arleigh enjoying a treat, while wearing her fake glasses.

The children enjoyed the sprinkle marshmallow pops that accompanied the gift basket... which I must share with all of my crafty friends.  They were the large marshmallows, dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with "sprinkles".  Rather than using a sucker or popsicle stick, they used a "crazy straw" for the stick.  These were great treats, and one that I will certainly have to copy in the future!  (Won't those make great classroom and birthday party favors?)

My mailbox has also "runneth over" with well wishes and greetings from friends, family and co-workers.  It is so nice to have brightly colored envelopes and messages...makes me feel like I'm back at summer camp and it's "mail call" time!  Greeting cards and letters are so much better than getting the electric bill or insurance explanation of benefits in the  mail!

This afternoon was my one week follow-up appointment with Dr. Martin.  He was very pleased with the surgical incision, and removed my drainage tube.  Thank God!  I found that the drainage tube was the most horrid thing about surgery, even worse than the incision itself.  If you look at the picture at the left, you will see the black sutures still attached to the tube.  Everything to the left of the black thread was outside of my body, and everything to the right was inside.  He even laughed about me wanting to take a picture of it...but then we've shared everything else, haven't we.  (Speaking of that, I'll post a picture of my incision this weekend.)

Dr. Martin referred me to an oncologist, Dr. Cheryl Jones. He was adamant that I be seen as soon as possible, and between God and Dr. Martin working together, my appointment is Friday at 10 a.m.  After the appointment with the oncologist, I will have a better understanding of when chemotherapy will begin, and can plan accordingly.  I will return to Dr. Martin in one week for a check, and possibly even schedule the out-patient surgery for my chemo power port next Thursday.

I am now clear to begin exercising to regain my strength and range of motion on my right side.  My nurse navigator, Kim (who I can not say enough wonderful things about), spent a great deal of time talking with Mom, Jeff and I after the appointment.  She demonstrated exercises, went over pathology report details, and answered many questions we had about upcoming chemotherapy treatments.  I realize that everyone is different, but I can not imagine going through a battle with cancer, and not being as prepared as possible.  I want to know what I'm up against, and how to face it head on for the defeat.  How someone can choose not to be an "informed" cancer patient is beyond my comprehension.

The pathology report from my mastectomy is 26 pages long,  I'll post more details about the report at a later date, but 5 sentinel lymph nodes were removed, with only 2 testing positive.  An additional 13 lymph nodes were tested, but were all negative.  I also received the BRCA testing results today, and they are negative!  Another Praise, in that my cancer is not genetic and will not affect my Mother, sister, or children!

Since I was still dressed from "going to town", I mustered up enough energy to attend a Pre-K workshop at Arleigh's school.  The workshop was about their "Animated Literacy" program, which is used for instruction.  Visit the Animated Literacy web site here for more information.  Even though I was exhausted by the time I returned home (to a wonderful home-cooked meal, prepared by my hubbby), it was nice to get out and see people!

My pain is a bit higher this evening than it has been.  I'm not sure if that is due to taking fewer pain pills, healing, exercising, or a combination of everything.  Tomorrow I'm switching over to Alleve for pain, and pray that it will be minimal as I continue to heal.

From deliveries to drain removal, today was a great day.  I know that all days won't be as great, but I will continue to celebrate!

TTFN,
-S

Stop and Smell the Gardenias

Gardenias are my Mother's favorite flower.  She has always loved the fragrant blossoms that bloom in the spring and summer.  They are "happy flowers" for me, reminding me of summer breezes that gracefully spread their potent fragrance throughout the yard.  It saddens me, but the blossoms on my gardenia bushes are now beginning to wither.  My mother and children have been picking the flowers and placing them in dishes throughout the house, trying to wring out the last bit of perfume before the blossoms turn brown and fall to the ground.

This afternoon, we took a walk around the yard, and stopped to smell the gardenias.  At first glance, the bush was full of withered, brown blossoms, but there were a few lone, white flowers that remained.  These few blossoms were still fragrant enough to "smell up" the yard, even though they were few in number. 

Most afternoons, I would have probably found myself in a hurry, while in the yard.  I would be rushing my children inside for homework and baths, sweeping off the front porch, or picking up stray litter that blew over from the neighboring high school.  I would not have taken the time to "stop and smell the gardenias".

As cliche' as it sounds, we live a hurried life...there's always someone to see, someplace to go, or something to do.  When you are faced with your own mortality, whether you receive a cancer diagnosis or just have the dreaded common cold, we need to make certain that we prioritize the things in our lives, and take time for the little things.  I realized that today...if I hadn't been standing outside with my Mom, I would have never stopped to snap a photo of her by the withering gardenia bush, or take the time to inhale the special fragrance of the beautiful white blossom.

As life passes us by, it's very difficult to always remain focused on the positive, when it would be so much easier to dwell on the negative.  I'm not always "Suzy Sunshine", and even though I try to remain upbeat and positive (especially for my family), I'm also a realist..  Last night, as my children were asleep in their beds, Jeff and I spent some time on the back deck discussing the "what-ifs".  What if my cancer has spread?  What if it's somewhere else? It was the first time that I actually verbalized my fears, but I needed to share.  The thoughts were just fleeting, but they were still real.  I know that God is in control, but it still doesn't mean I can't ask questions from time to time...Oh, how easy it would be to dwell on those negative thoughts, and let them consume me.

Today, I ventured out of the house.  (Briefly, as it was so very exhausting!)  Mom and I went to Walgreens, in search for some children's cold medicine.  Right in front of the Coca-Cola display, Dr. Martin called.  Praise God, the only cancerous lymph nodes were the two sentinel nodes that tested positive during surgery. He reported the surgical margins were clear and the remainder of the lymph nodes from underneath my arm were free of cancer cells! God is good! (You can learn more about surgical margins here.)

Whether taking time to smell the gardenias, or turning the smallest events into "sprinkle" celebrations, life is fleeting, and passes quickly, especially in our hectic world.  Sometimes, it's the fact that most flowers are brown that makes the fragrance even sweeter, or the fact that a great news is even better after a gloomy night.  Take after the Nike commercial, and "Just Do It!"  Stop and smell the gardenias, before they are all gone.

Have to share this picture of my "angelic" mother that was taken today....as the sunbeams were shining down, it made me think that the "Hallelujah Chorus" should be playing in the background!

Thank you for your prayers, but please remember those who may have unspoken prayer requests, also.  God knows who they are.

TTFN,
-S

Oh, Sugar, Sugar

Happy Anniversary to My Wonderful Parents!

The year was 1969, and the hottest song was by a group of characters...cartoon characters!  Archie, Reggie, Jughead, Betty and Veronica, better known as "The Archies" had a  #1 hit song with, "Sugar, Sugar".  (Now, hum along in your head - "Sugar, ah honey, honey - You are my candy girl...")

This sweet bubblegum pop song, with a catchy tune,was the #1 song of 1969.  "Sugar, Sugar" was more popular than songs by The Beatles, Elvis Presley, The Jackson 5 and The Rolling Stones during this momentous year. I was just a "twinkle in God's eye" in 1969, but something even more momentous than "Sugar, Sugar" happened that year...my parents got married!

On Monday, August 29, my wonderful parents will celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary.  (If that's not a sprinkle moment, I don't know what is!!!)  They give me love, courage, strength and knowledge.  Without them, I know I would not be the woman, wife or mother that I am today (literally and figuratively!) 

There are a lot of questions going through my head before Tuesday's doctor's appointment, but I'm pushing them to the back of my mind, and celebrating the love of my parents.

 

42 years of marriage...Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad... I love you!

 

TTFN,

-S

The Tale of Two Boxes

This actual MRI machine was used today for my Breast MRI.

Today was a tale of two boxes.  You would think that the two boxes refer to the Breast MRI that was scheduled for today, but actually, that's only one of the boxes.  (Ok, go on and laugh...you thought I was talking about my breasts, didn't you? :)

I arrived at the MRI Center a little before 7:30 a.m.  Went through registration and was handed paperwork to fill out and present to the technician when my name was called.  You know the paperwork...attached to a clipboard with a cheap pen.  Routine questions that normally I don't give a second thought to.  I just go down the lengthy column marking no, no, no, no, no no.  Heart disease, high blood pressure, seizures, diabetes..and then I stopped.  There it was with a box beside it.  CANCER.  For the first time ever, I had to mark yes in the "Cancer Box" on a form.  Still, hours after, I can not find the words to describe how surreal that moment was.  I, Shelby Marie Hobbs Henderson put an "X" in the Yes column by cancer.  I've been told by the surgeon that I have cancer.  I told my children I have cancer.  I told my family and friends that I have cancer.  I've shared my soul on this blog about cancer, but putting an "X" in the cancer box was reality, beyond measure for me!

I was then taken back to the MRI waiting areas by a very nice MRI technician, Victor.  He had a great personality, and when I asked if I could take a photo of the MRI machine for my blog, his reply was, "Wait a minute and let me tidy up!".  It was quite humorous standing there with my phone while he got the wrinkles out of the sheet on the MRI machine!  The photo on this post is the actual machine that was used for my Breast MRI.  You can read about the Breast MRI process here.  I was face-down for the process. The MRI machine utilizes a type of breast plate with "boxes" for your breasts.  Wendy (the other great technician I met today), positioned my breasts in the boxes.  I thought of them almost as little coffins for my boobs!  Your arms are above your head, with an IV in, as contrast is administered.  During the process, you are told not to move. The table is then moved into the MRI machine feet first.  Trying not to breath too deeply, earplugs in, IV in your arm, breasts in the boxes, and then the loud clicking noises start!  Images were taken before the contrast began, during, and then after the contrast had fully reached the area in question.  The purpose of the MRI was to see if there were any additional occult cancer, or cancers that are not visible on a mammogram or ultrasound.

The process was not pleasant.  If you've ever had a scan with contrast, you know that it feels very weird.  The contract used in Breast MRIs is not iodine based, and therefore is supposed to be more tolerable than that used in CT scans.  I could feel the contrast as it traveled through my body.  I imagined it kind of like a sparkly florescent glow.  First my head, then my shoulders, chest, abdomen, etc...  It was not pleasant, but I kept telling myself that this was miniscule compared the challenges that I will be facing in the next month and beyond.  When Victor let me know that there was only about seven minutes left, I thought I was going to lose it.  Not go crazy, but literally lose whatever contents were in my stomach (only a few sips of Coke Zero).  My breasts were probably lit up like a "Lite-Brite" on their monitor, and I felt like I was going to vomit all over a million dollar machine!

Thanks to God that I didn't vomit, and the procedure was finally over.  Wendy and I had a nice conversation about my proposed treatment, and she said she would add me to her prayers.  As soon as the procedure was over and images saved, they were immediately available for Dr. Martin to pull up, but he most likely won't receive the official radiologist report until Friday.

I was able to return to work, but have felt rather weak and nauseated all day.  Hopefully that will subside with a good night's sleep. Even with the way I've felt, my day was filled with unexpected "sprinkles"...literally and figuratively.  The outpouring of love, concern and prayers that I am receiving is unbelievable.  Unexpected cards and tokens of love are lifting my spirits higher.  Upon my arrival at work after my MRI, I had a large bag of sprinkles waiting for me in my school mailbox, with a note!  I love my sprinkles : )

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Dr. Martin called around 4:30 p.m. with more news.  Thank God my left breast is cancer free and there are no other cancer cells visible on the MRI!!!   He also said that at my appointment Tuesday, we will schedule my surgery. Thank you God and my Prayer Army!

TTFN,
-S

Life's Better With Sprinkles

I love sprinkles! Jumbles of brightly-colored sugar that decorate festive little sweets. I don't really like the way they taste or crunch, but somehow they always make me feel like celebrating. My love for sprinkles has always been a joke in my family. So much, that I laughingly say, "Life's better with sprinkles"!

Today I am having a "sprinkle" kind of day! I'm celebrating what's right with the world. During pre-planning, my principal shared with us an inspirational video, that really had an impact upon me. After eighteen years of motivational speakers, speeches and videos to start the school year off, I realized that this one was different. The video was by National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones. During this brief twenty-minute video, he encouraged viewers to "choose to see the possibilities". Often, we find too many faults with the world, and instead need to "Celebrate what's right with the world".

Today (as corny as it may sound), I'm celebrating what's right in my world! I'm celebrating that Adelia was selected as one of the first chairs in the flute section out of four band classes at the high school. I'm celebrating that I have a husband and family that love me. I'm celebrating that old and new friends have reached out to me. I'm celebrating Ronald and Helen, my wonderful parents. I'm celebrating the many people are lifting me up in prayer. I'm celebrating that Griffen is so excited about auditioning for his elementary school chorus. I'm celebrating phone conversations with old friends. I'm celebrating that my husband enjoys cooking. I'm celebrating that Arleigh makes me laugh with her singing and dancing. I'm celebrating my Salvation. I'm celebrating a stranger (who will soon become a new friend) who sent an email today to offer her support and experiences. I'm celebrating phone calls and emails from my children's principal and teachers, assuring me they will give my children "extra love" during this time. I'm celebrating the support that my wonderful CRMS family is giving me, my new book on reserve from the public library and even celebrating my new prescription for Xanax! (LOL)

As I begin my unknown journey with breast cancer, I know that it is going to be so important that I remember to celebrate what is right in my world. The alternative would be too dark, depressing, and unhealthy for everyone. I know that difficult times are ahead, but the unconditional love of God, my family and friends will put "sprinkles" on the days ahead.

TTFN,
-S