Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Stop and Smell the Gardenias
This afternoon, we took a walk around the yard, and stopped to smell the gardenias. At first glance, the bush was full of withered, brown blossoms, but there were a few lone, white flowers that remained. These few blossoms were still fragrant enough to "smell up" the yard, even though they were few in number.
As cliche' as it sounds, we live a hurried life...there's always someone to see, someplace to go, or something to do. When you are faced with your own mortality, whether you receive a cancer diagnosis or just have the dreaded common cold, we need to make certain that we prioritize the things in our lives, and take time for the little things. I realized that today...if I hadn't been standing outside with my Mom, I would have never stopped to snap a photo of her by the withering gardenia bush, or take the time to inhale the special fragrance of the beautiful white blossom.
As life passes us by, it's very difficult to always remain focused on the positive, when it would be so much easier to dwell on the negative. I'm not always "Suzy Sunshine", and even though I try to remain upbeat and positive (especially for my family), I'm also a realist.. Last night, as my children were asleep in their beds, Jeff and I spent some time on the back deck discussing the "what-ifs". What if my cancer has spread? What if it's somewhere else? It was the first time that I actually verbalized my fears, but I needed to share. The thoughts were just fleeting, but they were still real. I know that God is in control, but it still doesn't mean I can't ask questions from time to time...Oh, how easy it would be to dwell on those negative thoughts, and let them consume me.
Today, I ventured out of the house. (Briefly, as it was so very exhausting!) Mom and I went to Walgreens, in search for some children's cold medicine. Right in front of the Coca-Cola display, Dr. Martin called. Praise God, the only cancerous lymph nodes were the two sentinel nodes that tested positive during surgery. He reported the surgical margins were clear and the remainder of the lymph nodes from underneath my arm were free of cancer cells! God is good! (You can learn more about surgical margins here.)
Thank you for your prayers, but please remember those who may have unspoken prayer requests, also. God knows who they are.